The holidays are a time for family, friends, and festivities. But for some, they can also be a time for stress and conflict. Old tensions can resurface, and disagreements can quickly escalate.
If you're dreading your upcoming holiday gatherings, don't despair. Here are some tips to help you keep the peace and avoid family conflict:
**Set Realistic Expectations**
Not everyone is going to get along all the time, and that's okay. It's important to go into your holiday gatherings with realistic expectations. Don't expect everyone to be happy to see each other, and don't try to force everyone to get along. And that includes the animals!
**Pick Your Battles**
Not every argument is worth having. If something isn't worth fighting about, just let it go. It's not worth ruining your holiday over something that's not important. Ask yourself if it will matter next year or in five years. If not, let it go. And if battles erupt, try not to be in the firing line when a food fight breaks out.
**Take a Break if Needed**
If you feel yourself getting stressed or upset, take a break from the conversation. Go for a walk, get some fresh air, or take a few deep breaths. Change the music. Put on something upbeat. Multiple generations present? Mix up the beats accordingly.
**Use "I" Statements**
When you're expressing your feelings, use "I" statements. This will help to avoid blaming or accusing others. For example, instead of saying, "You're always so critical of me," try saying, "I feel hurt when you criticize me." And there's always, "I am leaving."
**Listen to Understand**
When others are talking, listen to understand, not just to respond. Try to see things from their perspective, even if you don't agree with them. That old adage about two ears and one mouth and using them in proportion makes a lot of sense!
**Agree to Disagree**
Sometimes, you're not going to agree with your family members. That's okay. It's important to respect their opinions, even if you don't share them. Especially if you don't share them.
**Focus on the Positive**
Instead of dwelling on the negative, focus on the positive. Think about all the good things about your family and the happy memories you've shared. Try to steer the conversation toward those funny stories! Get the crowd laughing and watch the tone change!
**Have Fun!**
The holidays are a time to enjoy yourself and spend time with loved ones. So relax, have fun, and make the most of it! Make cookies, play a game, work on puzzles, but do it together and have fun!
Additional Tips
- Avoid hot-button topics. Politics, religion, and money are often triggers for conflict. If you know that a certain topic is going to cause tension, try to avoid bringing it up.
- Be mindful of your own behavior. Don't say or do anything that you know will upset someone else.
- Be forgiving. Everyone makes mistakes. If someone says or does something hurtful, try to forgive them and move on.
- Seek professional help if needed. If you're struggling to cope with family conflict, consider seeking assistance. Yes, we're making light of the situation most of us face with families, but seriously, if you need help, ASK A PRO!